17th of May, 2020.
I met this guy today; I’m sure it was love at a first smile; we met at an event a friend invited me to, she disappeared immediately after the seminar leaving me alone to my thoughts, and he walked up to me with a smile and introduced himself. He Said a few things and collected my number while promising to call and I haven’t stopped thinking of him since then. He seems like a breath of fresh air.
20th of May, 2020.
I’ve been talking to him for the past few days, yes, the guy I met the other day, and he is so perfect. He has been telling me some things, things that people never did, like how beautiful I am and how I deserve to be shown off. He says it with so many emotions, and I can’t help but believe him.
31st of May, 2020.
I promise I haven’t forgotten you, you’d always be my best friend, but I’ve been having so much fun with him, it’s hard to remember anything else. It’s like life took a pause, and both of us are in it; he makes me feel loved without saying he loves me. For the first time in my life, I’m sure of something, I love someone.
2nd of September, 2020.
This is definitely the happiest I’ve been all my life. He is definitely the one for me, but I’m not sure I’m the one for him; we had an argument yesterday, and he was the first to apologize and make me feel loved and cherished. I’m so used to people telling me I’m wrong that it feels odd to be correct. He said he didn’t want to lose me and always wanted me to be in his life. We even talked about a future, marriage, and kids, he told me all about his past, but I couldn’t, and he knew I wasn’t ready.
5th of August, 2021.
Tomorrow is our anniversary, but we got engaged today. I guess I’m getting married then.
9th of November, 2021.
I’m unsure I can forgive myself; I was so angry and didn’t know how to release the anger. He was pushing and pushing, but that look in his eyes still hunts me even after. I hit him today.
21st of March, 2022.
Things had been going so well between us, he has been more understanding than anyone I know, but I still can’t seem to control my anger sometimes; I even started this anger management classes and therapy, but nothing seems to be working; it’s like hitting him is the only thing that brings me peace and satisfaction. He left.
21st of March, 2022.
I knew I had pushed too far the first time she hit me. She had been struggling, and I knew she needed a release, so I kept pushing. She was used to bottling up all her emotions, only showing happiness, but when she hit me, I saw the pain, anger, and agony in her eyes, and it hurt me that she was in so much pain that I forgave her. Over time, she kept hitting and hitting and even started anger management and therapy, but I could still see so much anger in her eyes. So I left because I didn’t want to hurt her or hurt me, but I came back; I’d always come back. My love for her is like a magnet that keeps pulling me back.
2nd of October, 2022.
Today is the anniversary of my death; my love for her had killed me. She kept hitting and hitting, and I kept taking until there was no more to take. She hasn’t been the same since I died; she tried to overdose twice, hang herself countless times, took poison, and even slit her wrist so many times in so many places, but death kept sending her back. She mourns me every day; it feels like the day I died all over again, the pain, agony, tears, sadness, anger, fear, and relief; she wears them like a crown. She blames herself for my death, but I don’t blame her; she held in so much anger and pain that I became her only outlet; she had been hurt countless times, a past she could never speak of, a family that hurt her, a society that pushed her, a life that wasn’t worth living till she met me. She had held all that inside and never found an outlet till me. I’m 6fts above, but I still love her, the love that cost my life.
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This work is written by Winner, a wordsmith and a podcaster whose love for storytelling has touched lives. With ink as her wand, she weaves mind-blowing tales that stir souls and provoke thoughts. Her words linger, captivating hearts of both young and old.
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